10 Rules for
Be the Shero Of Your Amazing Story!
It is important for women to affirm themselves, their daughters, and other women.
The world isn’t always kind to women.
During the past thirty years, I have had the privilege and pleasure of mentoring and coaching several hundred women from diverse backgrounds. Each of these women was seeking insights and strategies on how to level up their personal effectiveness towards the achievement of personal and professional goals.
These up close and personal interactions enabled me to bear witness to how one can go from struggling with showing up for yourself to rediscovering the brave you were born with to implement practices that enable you to embrace the truth of your enoughness.
This shift from “I am not enough” to “I am enough” created an aliveness in their soul that inspired them to become their biggest advocate. They started showing up for themselves in their personal and professional lives. They owned their story and their voice. When they activated their personal story power they began to see themselves differently, think differently about themselves, and show up differently in their sphere of influence. They began to believe in their power to redefine possible what is possible for them in life.
The Brave Way Practices shared in my latest book Find Your Brave: Embrace Fear As A Gift to Show Up, Shine and Succeed provide women with a practical approach towards living their brave out loud. Like many women, I have struggled during various periods in my life with fear, chronic doubt, and procrastination. These states of BE-ing dimmed my light and blocked me from living and leading in ways aligned with my capacity and potential. Can you relate?
While writing Find Your Brave, I started to experience Resistance which Steven Pressfield refers to as fear in his book The War of Art. Before I could continue to complete the book, I had to get to the root of my fear. When I began to unravel the layers of emotions in the fear-based story I was telling myself about standing out and connected them with my solo role in a fifth-grade musical, I had an A-ha moment! This revelation helped me to understand why I never felt comfortable standing up in front of my peers to receive awards during my corporate career. I began to practice the emotional interdependence skills shared in the book which enabled me to engage in the process of healing this soul wound.
I believe when women begin to accept and embrace the truth of their enoughness which will, in turn, debunk the lie of inadequacy: “I am not enough” they will rediscover the brave they were born with and begin to step boldly into their feminine wisdom and power to advance their vision, voice, and value.
When women become their biggest advocate and stop waiting on the validation of others to believe they have what it takes to achieve greatness while embracing The Brave Way Practices outlined in detail in my book and summarized in this guide, they will show up, shine and succeed in the arena that matters most to them.
The Brave Way Practices
1. Dare to Desire.
Imagine if every fiber in your being believed you could have life exactly as you choose it to be. What would be possible in your life — if you decided to unhook from the lie of inadequacy you’ve accepted about yourself and embrace the truth of your enoughness? Perhaps you would value your unique gifts, talents, spiritual power, intuition, and creativity. You would seek opportunities to put them to use towards purposeful goals. You would accept the authority and accountability for living your best life. And you wouldn’t be intimidated by doing so.
2. Make Being Real A Priority.
When you make being real a priority, you accept the responsibility for owning your truth and showing up in life as your authentic self. The degree of your authenticity defines whether or not your need for validation from others defines the life you live of if you are brave enough to occupy the driver’s seat in your life to chart a path that reflects your unique interests, passions, skills, and strengths.
3. Embody Your Enoughness.
The foundation of believing in the truth of your enoughness is built on self-trust. Trust that you will make decisions aligned with your core values and beliefs. .Trust you will take actions aligned with your core values and beliefs. When you remember to remember the strong moments in your life when you made decisions and took actions based on your core beliefs and core values, these moments help to fortify your self-trust and self-assurance. When you trust the truth of who you are during strong moments in your life, this practice reminds you of who you are at your best, and the truth of your enoughness.
4. Show Up for Your Dreams.
Instead of rationalizing about why you have continued to not speak up when you felt you should, refused to raise your hand for a stretch opportunity beyond your comfort zone, or go after that business opportunity you truly desire or allow yourself to believe in the possibility of finding an intimate partner, regardless of your age, it’s time for you to step fully into your power and get back in the arena with a fresh, bold attitude. Taking the first steps out of your comfort zone may cause you to feel anxious. That's okay. You got this. You can learn how to be comfortable with temporary feelings of discomfort, especially, when you have a compelling WHY that inspires you to take action. Instead of focusing on the gap between where you are and what you desire, focus your time, attention, and energy on what you will gain from your actions. Baby steps matter. Trust me when I say they can add up over time to create a life that's pretty amazing.
5. Be A Rule Breaker.
Consider the level of innovation and disruption occurring in all facets of our modern life compared to what was considered the “norm” just ten to twenty years ago. Women are courageously owning their voice to speak up against cultural injustices while leading social initiatives and acquiring leadership positions in corporations and politics. Disruption is a mainstay in the fabric of our lives. Rule breakers challenge long-held beliefs about themselves that may have helped them survive at one point in their life, but, will not empower them to thrive at the next level. They understand the importance of keeping their finger on the pulse in the arena they are playing to continuously contribute value in extraordinary ways to those they serve. They are willing to experiment with new ideas for the purpose of disrupting themselves from resting on past successes.
6. Embrace Fear As A Gift.
Fear thrives on the unknown. Its paralyzing effects are often rooted more in our imagination than reality. You can learn how to embrace fear with courageous confidence and become a fear tamer. As long as we live, most of us will have the sensory ability to feel frightened, scared, anxious, and apprehensive. Fear tamers do not subscribe to the notion of denying or suppressing their emotions. They know from experience that what’s in the way, points the way to the freedom their soul craves. They learn how to manage their relationship with fear so that it no longer boxes their life into a small replica of what it could be. Fear tamers keep their eye on the BIG picture and on their compelling WHY to maintain the focus, discipline and determination it takes to stay the course to achieve their dreams and goals!
7. Be Driven by Discovery.
We are born curious. When you are driven by discovery, you see the world in ways that you might otherwise miss. Curiosity challenges you to put aside your perspective of the world to see the world through the experiences of others. It requires you to move beyond what you know and embrace the unknown. To become a novice, again and again. “Curiosity, according to Brian Grazer, allows the possibility that the way we’re doing it now isn’t the only way or even the best way.” When you adopt an inquisitive mind towards what else is possible in any area of your life, your mind and heart become receptive to fresh ideas that can lead to you creating better experiences.
8. Brave the Way.
Bravery is built on the foundation of knowing who you are and what you stand for. Each time you decide to take an action reflective of the truth of who you are and what you stand for, you are being brave. This decision sets in motion how you see yourself, what you believe about your ability to achieve goals, and what you feel you are worthy of experiencing in life. Braving the way forward is taking the shots, even with the knowledge that you’re not going to hit 100% of your targets. Braving the way forwards develops your self-leadership which inspires you to take action on a consistent basis to become the person capable of actualizing your desired reality.
9. Enlist the Help of Others
Wise people recognize they do not know everything. This awareness nurtures a personal humility to ask for help when they aren't clear about a plan they have towards their goals to solving problems that keep them up at night or feeling perplexed and stuck. Be wise. One of the most effective strategies I use on a consistent basis for accomplishing goals where I have little or no experience is seeking the advice of those who have demonstrated success in that which I desire to accomplish. Contrary to popular opinion, when you enlist the help of others, it is not a sign of weakness. It demonstrates your commitment to achieving your goals and the willingness to do whatever it takes to make it happen.
10. Develop Your Personal Brand
Your personal brand is what people say about you when you are not in the room. It's what I refer to as your reputation. When was the last time you asked the people in your circle of influence what you need to STOP, START and CONTINUE doing to increase their trust in you and build your credibility as a woman of integrity and personal excellence? Are you clear about who you are, what you stand for, where you are going and the path that is most likely to get you to your desired destination?
Your personal brand is often a reflection of the level of intention that you demonstrate towards building and sustaining supportive relationships that help you to grow and flourish in life. The quality of relationships in your life plays a huge role in the quality of the life that you experience. Always be nurturing supportive and healthy relationships.
Find your brave to show up, shine and succeed,
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